Nice guys finish last

"Nice guys finish last."

Somebody told me that once a long time ago (maybe it was Kevin Arnold on "Wonder Years," I'm not certain).

If it's true, I must be one of the nicest darn guys you'll ever meet.

My fantasy baseball team's in last place.

Dead last.

It's an unenviable position - especially when it's a newsroom fantasy league, and you're the newspaper's fantasy sports "expert."

So what's gone wrong?

Well for starters, I currently have four players on the DL - not counting Cliff Lee, who just came off.

I've been without Jacoby Ellsbury, one of my five "keepers" entering the season and a starting OF, for a while now. And I just lost Brett Anderson, who was looking pretty good and for whom I had pretty high hopes this year.

I've suffered through some pretty awful - and I mean awful - pitching by Frank Francisco and Octavio Dotel, two of my "closers."

Didn't count on Adam Jones having 6 RBIs at this point either. Or Jason Bay one HR. Or Zack Greinke zero wins. Or Juan Pierre hitting .184, or Derrek Lee .217.

But it's not all bad.

Cliff Lee looked pretty good in his first start back from the DL, and hopefully he'll regain the Cy Young form I bargained for when I rolled the dice on him.

Ryan Zimmerman is going to have a great year if he can put his hamstring troubles behind him.

Hideki Matsui's been a bargain, and Casey McGehee's been a real find.

And Greinke's got to win a game sooner or later.

If he doesn't, I'm bound to stay stuck in last place for the long haul.

At least I'm a nice guy.

Frank Francisco, you're killing me

So I decided to wait on grabbing a closer in my draft this year. Got Francisco Cordero in the 12th round and felt pretty good about that.

Decided to back him up with Texas' Frank Francisco in the 16th round. Liked that one too.

Then on April 8 against Toronto, Francisco did this:

0.2 IP, 4 H, 1 BB, 1 K, 3 ER, blown save, loss

And then he followed that up with this gem Saturday vs. Seattle:

0.1 IP, 3 H, 1 BB, 0 K, 3 ER, blown save, loss

Great start, Frankie!

Will Francisco be the first major league closer to lose his job in 2010? Said Rangers manager Ron Washington after the game Saturday: "Stay tuned."

Believe me, Ron, I will.

Good thing I have Neftali Feliz on my bench, too. The young flamethrower should be the next in line for save opportunities in Texas, if the Rangers are really serious about contending in the AL West this year.

He just may save my fantasy team in the process.

***UPDATE***

Feliz was named Texas' "temporary" closer on Sunday. Woo hoo! Grab him immediately if he's available.